Mutual trust is absolutely crucial when it comes to building a healthy and lasting relationship with your partner. You can’t go through life worrying about what your significant other is doing every time they’re not by your side.
And, equally importantly, you certainly don’t want to be overly controlling or possessive as this will almost always lead to conflict and may eventually drive your partner to walk away from the relationship altogether.
It’s only natural for humans to feel a certain degree of jealousy in a romantic relationship. That is something we all have to accept.
Dealing with the Jealousy
But how we deal with that jealousy, however, is what makes the difference: those who can build trust with their partner are much more able to stop worrying and push any feelings of jealousy to the back of their mind.
And often having a degree of trust with your partner will make it easier to resolve conflicts when they do arise. For example, if your partner maintains contact with an old ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend, you might find it irritating even if you know he or she isn’t actually cheating on you with this ex.
If you’ve built real trust with your partner, he or she will likely be much more willing to understand your feelings and agree to stop speaking with them just so because they know it’s uncomfortable for you. Compared to making demands of your spouse or insisting they stop contacting their ex, this is a much more effective method of controlling feelings of jealousy!
Elizabeth Arthur over at LovePanky has released a new article that discusses some ways to resolve trust issues in your relationship, and how to build more trust if you think it’s something your current romance is short on. Arthur delivers some tips on how to handle your own trust problems:
Try to Think From Your Partner’s Perspective
What would you do if you were in their place? Be truthful to yourself and think rationally instead of judging them in haste.
Don’t Repeat Your Lessons
If it bothers you that your lover is holding a friend’s hand while talking, talk to your partner about it. Tell them how you felt and ask them how they’d feel if you did the same thing.
If your partner helps you see their perspective and you get satisfied with their answer, that should be the end of the issue. The next time the same issue crops up, you should be able to deal with the issue yourself without asking your partner for an explanation all over again.
She also offers some advice on helping your partner with their trust issues as well:
Introduce Your Friends
Introduce your lover to your friends, especially the ones your partner feels threatened about. Let your lover bond with them so they feel like a part of your circle of friends.
As long as your partner feels involved in your group of friends, they’ll feel less threatened by the attractive and touchy feely ones.
Don’t Be Aloof
Don’t get angry or annoyed when your lover unnecessarily craves for your attention. Your lover is frightened you’ll leave them. Think from their perspective, and if you truly care about keeping your lover happy, help them through this difficult period.
Sound advice — especially given how important trust is to actually maintaining a loving relationship for the long-term.
You can read the rest of Artur’s trust article here.