Getting matches on Tinder isn’t the problem
Getting messages is.
Why does a guy swipe right if he’s not going to send you a message?
Why Your Tinder Matches Don’t Message
Matching without messaging is more common than you think. In fact, only 7% of male matches send a message compared to 21% of female matches. I’m going to give you eleven reasons that a guy isn’t messaging you on Tinder.
1. You live too far apart
Maybe you’ve both got your radiuses set to the max and so you just matched with someone 100 miles away. That can be a fun ego boost but plenty of guys aren’t looking to start up a relationship with someone who lives in a different city.
Then there’s this scenario. You’re in an airport or on a long car ride, or home for the holidays and you’re swiping. Then the next day you’re back home and suddenly you have five new matches that are 2000 miles away. That’s why you don’t swipe and travel!
2. You’ve got a bad bio
I’ve seen plenty of girls wondering why they never get a message and then they show me their bio.
There’s one thing they almost always have in common: a list of don’ts, conditions and qualifications. I understand you’re saying
“no smokers, no fuckbois, no hookups”
to try to scare off the creeps. But guess what, those guys aren’t reading your bio, and the guy that you want, might be turned off by your negativity even if he doesn’t fall into any of these categories. Remember, this is the only sense of your personality this guy gets other than your photos. If your bio is all nos then he’s going to be saying no to you.
Or maybe your bio is blank, full of spelling mistakes, or just boring. There are plenty of bio mistakes that I’ll cover in an upcoming video.
3. They don’t check the app
Plenty of people have their notifications off and just don’t check Tinder very often. I know plenty of people with 7000 unread emails and dozens of matches they’ve never even seen.
4. You look different in every picture
It makes sense to put your best photo up first, but make sure your photos are all close to the same level. If your third photo is of you mid-sneeze, take it out no matter how cool the background is. People are much more attracted to each other in person and even one bad photo on Tinder can ruin the bunch.
5. They’re off Tinder but didn’t deactivate
Tinder can be funny sometimes. Sometimes you match with someone you swiped right on like a month ago. This could be happening to them. So maybe they’re not using Tinder anymore for whatever reason.
6. Your Instagram is a horror show
Is your instagram attached to your Tinder profile? This can be a good way to show off some personality and additional photos. But look at your grid and ask yourself, would I want to date this person?
Is it 900 pictures of your cat with the occasional meme thrown in? Make sure to keep your instagram looking presentable so you can attract a man.
7. They’re nervous
This is pretty common. Maybe you seem too perfect. Too unbelievably beautiful and fun for them to risk messing things up by even talking to you at all. Not a sign of high confidence but Tinder isn’t a very supportive place sometimes.
8. They already found someone
Whether it’s the love of their life or just someone new, plenty of guys don’t have room for more than one girl in their life.
Those are the kind of guys you’re looking for. Unfortunately, they’re also the kinds of guys who aren’t going to message you if they’re already talking to someone else.
9. They don’t message anyone
Plenty of people have Tinder just for the ego boost. They’re just there for the swipes and the matches. I personally think that these people shouldn’t be allowed on the app but until I can get enough of you to sign my petition, it remains a common practice.
10. They swiped right by accident
I hate to even mention this one but it’s a real possibility. It happens to the best of us. Plus, guys tend to swipe right more often so sometimes they can swipe before they’ve got a good look at your profile.
This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Maybe you’re just not their type, or they can tell by your bio you’re looking for different things.
Sick and tired of messing around on Tinder? Looking to find a guy who will love and cherish you for who you are? Check out my free video presentation on what it takes to find, attract, and lock down the best guys around. Trust me, this is the advice you need to find the guy you deserve.
11. They know you
Maybe you’re someone they recognize from real life. I know, Tinder and real life should always stay as far apart as possible but it does happen.
If you’re the cute barista at their favorite coffee shop or you work in the same building or they know you from the gym, there’s a chance they just don’t want to mix business with pleasure.
How To Make Men Message You On Tinder
So you want more Tinder messages. What can you do about it?
Start off by dialing in your radius
Narrow your radius down to a thirty minute trip. You’re on Tinder to meet guys in real life and if you’re going to actually date this guy, you don’t want to have to charter a flight every few days. Trust me, there are plenty of guys that are only ten miles from you right now!
And when you go on a holiday, leave the app off your itinerary.
Next, make sure you revamp your profile
Maintaining a good profile of up to date, good looking pictures with a fun and funny bio can be tough but if you’re trying to meet guys on Tinder, it’s a must. Make sure you cut out any fluff, keep your bio tight and focused and update it at least once a month.
That said, if they didn’t message you right away, there’s a chance you got lost in the shuffle. If this is the case, you really only have one option
And my top tip is…
Message them first
This is something very few girls do. And I understand why. You’re afraid to look desperate or clingy.
But think of it this way– As I’m sure you know, everyone is on Tinder. In fact, studies show that almost 20% of people have Tinder profiles.
You’re only swiping right on quality guys but guess what? So are other girls out there. The competition is stiff.
So what’s a good way to set yourself apart? Messaging him first lets him see that you’re a real person who is actually there and wants to get to know him.
You don’t have to do anything special. You just need to get the ball rolling. I recommend opening with a question, a comment about something in his bio, or a non-physical compliment.
Why non-physical? I think it’s good to show interest but keeping your messages away from his looks lets him know that you’re not here for just a physical connection–you’re interested in him as a person. This is more for your own sake than for his. You don’t want him to get the wrong idea and come on too strong.
Even a simple “Hey :)” can start things off.
You don’t have to chase him, you just have to let him know you’re there.
I promise, any guy who takes this as desperate isn’t worth your time anyway.
And if he doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. Again, plenty of people have their Tinder notifications off and just open it to swipe when they’re bored. Sad but true.
Do want to send him messages that he can’t ignore? I’ve found a series of words and phrases that tap into a man’s most primal urges and make him yearn for you.