Richard K. from Calgary writes:
I have a huge crush on my best friend’s girl. This sucks. I always catch her looking at me, too. I’ve been best friends with him for about four years and I seriously do not want to mess this up. I do care a lot about both of them, and I don’t know what I should do! Some advice please?
Thanks for the question. First of all, let me commend you for asking this question. Not many guys would give a crap about their friend, so good for you.
It sounds like you are developing serious feelings for this girl. But let’s put this thing into perspective here.
Your Friend Will Never Be OK With It
Do you think your best friend, at any capacity, is going to ever be okay with you dating his girlfriend? The fact here is, your relationship with your best friend probably means a lot more than your relationship with his girlfriend right now. Being best friends with someone for four years is a long time. That kind of stuff isn’t likely to disappear.
While you think a relationship with his girlfriend may flourish, there’s no guarantee, and you’re risking a whole lot just for a test drive.
I know it’s hard, but given all the information now, it isn’t worth the risk.
But Here’s Something You Can Do
If you feel like you just can’t let it go at all and you have to take action, then the only thing you can do is talk about it. Talk about it with her first. For all you know, she doesn’t feel the same way about you. If she doesn’t, then there’s no point pursuing this anymore.
If she does, however, then you’ve really got to work with your friend to figure out the best possible solution.
And further, there’s a chance that your friend may feel like it’s just going down hill with her as well and may be willing to work something out.
Either way, by following this advice, you protect yourself from experiencing possible drama in the future, and this ensures that you keep your friend which is the most important part of all of this.
So do the smart thing! Good luck to you.