10 Red Flags to Look Out for In A New Relationship
Getting to know someone on an intimate level can be an emotional roller coaster, which is why bonding with a new or potential partner may seem tricky.
As much as it’s important to be open to both of your individual differences, there are certain red flags that can show up early in a relationship that, when ignored, end up being a relationship’s downfall.
If you’re used to wearing your heart on your sleeve or falling in love hard and fast, then it’s important to be aware of the following red flags so that you don’t waste time with people that aren’t meant for you.
1. They’re “Too Busy” to See You
It’s completely acceptable for your new partner to be busy with previously made plans or their personal schedule. At the same time, if they’re constantly too busy to spend time with you then something’s gotta give.
It’s important to make sure that the the two of you have the same ideas as to what direction the relationship is heading, and that you both make time for one another. Keep an eye out for anyone who doesn’t make an effort to see you – and be clear that you’re not just some Joe Blow’s booty call.
2. The Relationship Is Based on Sex
If your partner only comes around for sexy time, then this is a major red flag that you should call it quits. While sex is a big part of every romantic relationship (especially in the beginning), it’s also important to recognize when your partner only wants you for your goods.
Don’t trick yourself into believing that they will come around more over time, this is probably as good as it’ll get.
3. They Don’t Initiate Plans
It’s important for both partners to make an effort when it comes to making plans. If your partner sits docilely by while you suggest hangouts or date ideas, then it won’t be long before you realize that you’re wasting your time chasing them.
In a relationship, it’s important for both partners to feel like they’re being pursued because it creates a mutual sense of desire for one another. So, if you find yourself making the first move every time, they just might not be that into you.
4. You Catch Them Lying
Everyone wants to impress the person they’re seeing, and it’s not uncommon for your partner to slip in a small fib to make themselves look good in your eyes. For example, maybe they tell you they had a salad for lunch instead of admitting to the burger they inhaled.
On the other hand, full blown lying is a huge no-no. For example, If your partner tells you that they’re going out of town for the weekend and you later discover they were partying down the street, then it’s a sign of what’s to come.
Honesty is key in any relationship, and if you can’t trust your partner, then there’s no point in working to keep the relationship alive.
5. They Never Offer to Pay
One of the first romantic gestures in a new relationship is offering to pay for the bill. Most often, men will feel it’s up to them to treat their lady, but it’s not completely unheard of for women to also step up and pay.
Despite what you may believe, it’s okay to split the bill and doing so doesn’t say anything about your relationship other than that you both want to chip in.
At the same time, it’s also really nice to be treated by your partner every now and then. If your guy or gal never even offers to pay or has excuses as to why they can’t cover the bill, then this will eventually lead to problems in the future.
No one wants to pay for everything all the time, and it’ll only be so long before the partner buying begins to feel like their date doesn’t truly appreciate their generosity.
6. They Breed Drama
It doesn’t take much to notice when a person constantly brings drama to the lives of others, and frankly, no one wants to be in a relationship that is bound to be blunderous. Unless there is a real cause for concern, there’s no reason anyone should shout, scream or talk poorly of others.
If your partner has a hard time controlling their emotions, then chances are they aren’t ready to be in a serious, committed relationship. Under no circumstances should you feel obliged to stay with someone because you fear their reaction.
So, if there’s constant drama in your love life, then it’s time to pack up and move on.
7. They Don’t Ask Questions
Lasting relationships are based on give and take, which means both partners are open to one another and express a genuine interest in each other’s lives.
If the person you’re seeing shows little or no interest in your personal life, doesn’t listen when you tell them stories, or has a habit of interrupting or directing the conversation back to them, then it’s time to get out.
Be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself and shows you how important you are by being an active listener. There’s no future for a relationship that’s based on one person’s self indulgence.
8. They’re Irresponsible, Immature and Unpredictable
When it comes to mastering basic life skills such as managing finances, holding a job, or making plans for the future, there’s a certain standard that most would agree with when it comes to being ready for a mature, romantic relationship. If the person you’re seeing doesn’t have a handle on being responsible or mature, then you may want to reconsider your relationship.
In order for a relationship to thrive it’s important for both partners to be on the same level. If your partner is still working on growing up, it may be hard to rely on them.
9. They’re Controlling
You may not notice right away, but if the person you’re seeing is attempting to drive a wedge between you, your interests and other significant people in your life, then it’s best to walk away.
Whether they are jealous of your other relationships, or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you spend your time with, being someone who tries to call the shots on how you spend your time is bound to end in disaster. Before you invest too much time and energy into this type of relationship, take heed of this red flag and always choose yourself over a toxic partner.
10. Your Friends Hate Them and/or They Hate Your Friends
Your friends and family members know you better than anyone in the world and want what’s best for you. If the majority of them don’t get along with your partner or have nothing positive to say about them, then take note.
Sometimes it’s a matter of clashing personalities or brief introductions, but remember that these outsiders can often see when trouble’s a brewing long before you’ll clue in.
On the other hand, if your new guy or girl is constantly making excuses not to spend time with your friends or is questioning your relationships then something’s up.
Your personality overlaps with your loved ones, and if your partner doesn’t get along with them, then that signals that they also don’t get along with parts of you.
Don’t ignore these seemingly light comments or you’ll be dealing with a much heavier burden as time passes.
Amy North
Amy North, BA, BSc, is a woman’s best friend. If you’re searching for the man of your dreams, or you want make your boyfriend stay devoted to you, then Amy North is your gal! Amy's incredibly popular YouTube channel, which boasts over 340,000 subscribers and 20+ million views, helps women learn how to get what they want out of their relationships. Her best-selling program, The Devotion System, reveals a number of psychological ‘hot buttons’ that make any man 'tick', and teaches readers how to use simple techniques and phrases to make any man love you.