So your ex blocked you on social media.
I’m sure you’re feeling hurt, confused and upset.
I’ll tell you what it means when your ex blocks you on social media and what you can do about it.
Why Your Ex Blocked You
Now, there’s a few reasons WHY your ex may have blocked you after breaking up. Let’s start with most obvious one first:
Reason #1: Your ex is angry
I don’t think this one should come as a shock, but let me spell it out anyway: if you did or said something to your ex before breaking up, or in the immediate aftermath of your breakup, that made your ex very angry or upset… then that’s probably why they blocked you!
For example, I often work with clients who cheated on their ex, and in that kind of situation it shouldn’t be surprising that they’ve decided to block you. This may or may not be something you can overcome, but I’ll talk about what you should do in this kind of situation in a minute.
But before we get into that, let’s talk about the second common reason why your ex may have blocked you…
Reason #2: Your ex is struggling with the breakup
As I’ve said in many of my past videos, breakups are often just as difficult for the one who initiates them as they are for the person who was dumped. In other words, your ex is likely going through the same heartache and emotions that you are.
And of course, as I’m sure you’re well aware, being reminded of your ex every time you log on to social media can bring all those emotions back to the surface… so, many people block their ex on social media after breaking up in order to avoid the constant reminders and avoid becoming emotional when they see something their ex has posted on social media.
If your breakup wasn’t ugly and full of screaming and yelling–in other words, if you didn’t do something hurtful or upsetting to your ex–then this is almost certainly the reason why they’ve decided to block you.
This can actually be a good sign if you’re still hoping to get back together because it means that your ex is thinking about you.
Reason #3: Your ex is trying to get revenge
This is something I see less often than the previous two reasons I just covered, but it does happen. Sometimes, an ex will be looking to “get back” at you — especially if you were the one who initiated the breakup — and they may think that blocking you on social media will anger or upset you. This is obviously an immature way to handle a breakup, and doesn’t really speak very highly of their character, but I have seen it happen from time to time.
What To Do If Your Ex Blocks You
Let’s start with the bad news, shall we? The bad news is that, regardless of why your ex has blocked you on social media, there’s nothing you can do to change that fact in the short term. Do not overreact and lash out at your ex, or even reach out and politely ask them to unblock you.
This isn’t going to work, for starters, and it’s also not the type of message you want to be sending if you’re trying to get your ex back and start over. Their decision to block you is something that, unfortunately, you can’t really change change with words.
Pleading, begging, or lashing out and getting angry at your ex over this kind of thing is 100% guaranteed to backfire and make matters even worse.
Play it cool
The single best thing you can do in this situation is play it cool.
Respect your ex’s desire for privacy, and don’t message them or call them out on the fact they’ve blocked you. I promise you that if you try to do or say something to convince them to unblock you, or even if you ask them WHY they’ve blocked you.
It’s not going to help you out at all, whether you want them back or not.
That’s the bad news, ladies and gentlemen… please accept that you can’t change your ex’s decision to block you for now.
The good news is that most of the time, your ex is going to unblock you at some point in the future.
It could be soon, it could be a few months down the road… but in 90% of cases, unless you really did something terrible to your ex that has made them truly determined never to speak to you ever again, they’re going to eventually unblock you and re-open the lines of communication.
Again, this isn’t something you can make happen yourself, but given time your ex is very likely going to unblock you at some point in the future.
There’s also more good news if your ex has blocked you on social media simply because they’re struggling with the breakup themselves, and don’t want to be reminded of you or tempted to contact you.
If this is the case then it is a very good sign for your chances of getting back together.
Why? Well, because it means they’ve still got strong feelings for you. Anyone who is so emotionally distraught over a breakup that they feel the need to block their ex is clearly struggling with breaking up, and probably missing you, too.
Now, the question you may be asking yourself at this point is: “Brad, I know I’m supposed to be patient and play it cool… but, isn’t there anything else I can do to communicate with my ex even though I’m blocked?”
How To Reestablish Contact
First off, don’t take this step until you’ve undergone a full 30 days of No Contact.
Probably the best way to reestablish communication is by setting up a hangout with a few of your mutual friends. So, for example, you can plan a night out with a bunch of friends that you and your ex shared… and then ask these mutual friends to casually invite your ex, just to see how he or she is doing.
Trust me, your ex is going to be much more likely to show up if you’re with a bunch of his or her friends. It’s a lot less “threatening” when you take this approach, and more likely to get them to agree to come. Another benefit to this method is that it works even if your ex has blocked your phone number AND blocked you on social media.
RELATED: Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
Now, once you see your ex at this friendly hang-out, it’s important that you do NOT make it a big deal or try to get into any kind of serious discussion about the breakup, or the fact they’ve blocked you.
Your only goal at this point is to have fun and re-engage in casual conversation with your ex. Do NOT make things awkward, and do NOT cause any unnecessary drama. Remember, at this point your ex may be dreading talking to you (or at least be feeling anxious about it) and you have to do whatever you can to not intensify those feelings. Take things slow and remember to be upbeat, positive, and friendly.
If you’re feeling as if he or she is still being very awkward with you, then take the hint and back off… you don’t want to make your ex feel regret for coming out. But, if your ex seems open to chatting, then casually engage in small talk.
Questions like, “How’s your summer been?” or “How’s work treating you?” are a great way to start a conversation. Your goal is to simply be friendly with your ex, and that’s it. Keep things fun, funny, and enjoyable for your ex.
At the end of the night, you can tell your ex that it was nice to see them… and that they should text you sometime — just as friends. That’s obviously probably not your long-term goal, and I don’t recommend being friends with your ex if you want them back, but you need to be subtle and non-threatening when you propose re-opening the lines of communication.
Don’t be pushy, brash, or emotional about it… let your ex come back to YOU.
The more aggressive you are with your ex, the more it will reaffirm their original decision to block you in the first place.
Hopefully this strategy will work for you — if, that is, your ex doesn’t take the initiative on their own and unblock you after you leave them alone for a few weeks.